No one ever said that being married was easy. In fact, it can be hard work at times unless you both avidly try to keep it fresh and the ties close. Like all the best things in life, you have to proactively work at overcoming marital obstacles and keeping each other first in your hearts. In the beginning this can sound easy, but as time goes on, and there are more and more demands on your time, you can grow apart. Arguments are bound to crop up between two people living together, and you need to learn how to handle them. Work on such tactics as compromise or taking time out to cool off before resuming your discussion.
In addition, you need to try and keep the D word out of your arguments. It's easy to threaten your spouse with divorce, but it's a word you don't even want to contemplate, especially since you're using it as a weapon and don't really plan to act on it. Just talking about divorce can put your relationship on shaky ground. Over time it tends to become ingrained in your minds and a natural solution to all of your problems. Take the time and energy that it takes to argue and to threaten divorce and use it instead of rediscover the reasons that you and your spouse got together in the first place.
Making a point to spend private time together each week will definitely help you remain close and build on your relationship. It can range from having a date night where you spend time doing the things that you enjoy, a dinner out at a fancy restaurant, or a weekend getaway, but whatever you can do in order to find time alone together will work wonders. Get a sitter and don't worry about the kids. Devote your thoughts and actions towards kindling the romance and intimacy and keeping them burning.
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