I Have Bad Luck With Good Quality Suitors

Hello Aunty Eya,

Hope you are very well and I want to say thank you for all I've learnt from your blog.

I am 25 years old and ever since I started dating at 17, I have never

attracted the kind of man I would have loved as a husband. I reject men because they are not what I want, not that I am a choosy girl. Now I'm getting older by the day and no better man is coming. It's either they don't come at all or I see what gets me angry. The kind of men that approach me Aunty Eya are the ones that irritate me, the ones I will never want to be identified with. Why do I have this kind of hard luck. I have prayed, assessed myself and asked my friends questions. Not that I'm ugly or uneducated. I may not be super pretty but I'm a fine, well mannered lady.

When we go out with my friends, men look at them before me, why?

When we attend parties, they are picked before me and sometimes no one great man even tries me to see whether I'd say yes or no.

It takes long, sometimes up to a year before some man comes toasting. The kind of men I'd have loved to get intimate with are the ones that would just want ordinary friendship, they value my advise, respect me, confide in me to the point of asking me to advise when they have issues with their girl friends. Why can't they make me their lovers rather than confide in me about the nonsense their babes are doing?

This year, I buckled up and told myself that if what I want does not come to me, I rather make a move than sit and wait for manna from heaven. The very first good friend I told I had feelings for ended up telling me how great a friend I am to him, how good I am and how he wants our friendship to continue the way it is. He has a girl who I feel does not appreciate him because of the way she treats him. I appreciate and have feelings for him yet he wants us to remain friends.

After he turned me down, I don't think I can summon courage to tell any of my male friends that I have any feeling for them henceforth. How do girls attract great men into their lives? What special thing do they do that I'm missing please? I dress well, I am very neat and hardworking.

The guy I have now is just OK, his business is doing great, he loves me so much and does not hide it. He likes to show me to everyone he knows which I do not like because despite his thriving business, I accepted him because there was no better man forth coming. His English Language is very very poor. So poor that he addresses men as "she" and women as " He"

I have a big problem with his language and vocabulary, it's something I can't manage at all. I know that he is the type that would want to spend the rest of his life with me, but I am not ready for that kind of level. I am just trying to console myself pending when a 'good guy" will come my way. The quality of men that want me is too low for me. Is it my destiny or what? If I manage to get a great guy, he will be the very bad, like over playboy type.

The only time I managed to get someone reasonable was while I was still an undergraduate and I suffered in his hands because he was a terrible womaniser, I had to leave when I couldn't bear it any longer.

Aunty Eya, please I'm desperate for answers. Help me post this on your blog so that other ladies can help me pls. Is there any other lady out there finding it this difficult to attract a great guy even for once?

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