If so, don't be too hard on yourself! Approaching girls can be terrifying for guys, especially if they don't have much experience with meeting women.
Before you know it, you will be approaching gorgeous girls in no time!
This is something that millions of guys around the world struggle with. If you are anything like them, then you probably go through something like this. You notice a stunning girl at a nightclub or party. She might be by herself, or she may be with a group of friends. Either way, you are instantly attracted to her.
At this point, the thought of approaching her will pop into your mind. And then, before you have a chance to do anything about it, all sorts of negative scenarios will start flashing through your head.
What if you go up to her only to discover to your horror that you have nothing to say? What if she looks at you with utter contempt and then completely ignores you? What if she gets upset and makes an embarrassing public outburst?
The likelihood of any sort of positive scenario popping into your head will probably be pretty close to zero. Inevitably, all of those negative scenarios will overwhelm you, destroy your confidence, and hold you back from making your approach.
Sound familiar? You see, I know exactly what it feels like to struggle with approaching girls. Meeting women was something that I battled with for years. Finally, I decided to do something about it once and for all. I dedicated my life to studying women and how to be more successful with them.
Since then, I have never struggled with approaching a girl, and I want to share three of the most important lessons that I have learned with you:
* JUST DO IT
* TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF
* USE DIFFERENT APPROACHES
If you start putting these tips into practice today, then I guarantee that you will dramatically improve your dating life!
TIP #1: JUST DO IT
Let's kick off with something really simple. One of the best things that you can do to overcome any nervousness when approaching girls is to force yourself to make the approach. I know how obvious that must sound, but hear me out!
Here's the thing: most guys know that they should man up and approach the girls who they are attracted to regardless of how nervous they may feel. But knowing and doing are two different things! Even though they know it, they end up talking themselves out of it. They will come up with all sorts of excuses to chicken out.
DON'T BE LIKE THOSE GUYS!
Forcing yourself to make an approach is actually easier than you think. The key is to focus on literally taking it one step at a time. Look at your feet and focus on putting one in front of the other. Obviously you shouldn't stare at the ground all the way, but it can help you get some momentum for your first few steps.
The reason why this is so important has less to do with your feet and more to do with your brain. You see, when you decide that you are going to approach a girl, you put pressure on your brain to come up with something to say. But your brain is already working overtime with all of those overwhelming negative scenarios!
By forcing yourself to move, it's almost as if you disconnect your feet from your brain. Your feet have made the decision to start walking towards her and they're not going to turn back. If your brain doesn't come up with something cool to say, then both your feet and your brain are going to look pretty stupid!
At this point, your brain has no choice. It has to stop worrying about all of those imaginary negative scenarios and focus on what is happening in reality! I found that by using this approach, I would always come up with something to say.
TIP #2: TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF
One of the mistakes that holds a lot of guys back from approaching more girls is that they obsess over coming up with the perfect thing to say. The truth of the matter is that there is no perfect approach or pickup line.
It is really important that you take the pressure off yourself to come up with the perfect thing to say. Not only will it fuel your anxiety and give you an excuse to chicken out, but it can also backfire by making you look like you are trying too hard.
This was a mistake that I made all the time when I first started approaching more women. I felt like I needed to come up with something very cool or unique to talk about. All that ended up happening was that I came across as really weird!
To be perfectly honest, what you say when you approach a girl is really not that important. Think back to some of the most enjoyable interactions that you have had with women in the past. Can you remember how you started any of them?
I'M PRETTY SURE YOU CAN'T RECALL WHAT EXACTLY YOU SAID AT THE TIME!
I am also very confident that what you said was much less important than your state at the time. You were probably caught up in the moment and just focused on having a good time. That's what helped you create a positive first impression - not the words that you spoke.
While it can be hard to get into this state when you are feeling really nervous, it will become easier and easier as you make more and more approaches. After a while you will notice that you just naturally relax into conversations.
TIP #3: USE DIFFERENT APPROACHES
A lot of guys rely on a single approach when meeting girls. It should be pretty obvious why this is problematic: every woman is different, so if you never change your approach then you are going to experience a lot less success!
There are three approaches that I recommend you focus on to begin with:
* FUNCTIONAL OPENERS
* DIRECT OPENERS
* OBSERVATIONAL APPROACHES
FUNCTIONAL OPENERS
Functional openers are probably the easiest way to approach a girl. A functional opener is when you use a functional issue to start a conversation. For example, you could ask for the time or for directions to somewhere. It is basically a question that you could ask anyone but, obviously, you pick an attractive girl!
You will find that functional openers are usually a very reliable strategy for getting girls to respond to you. They also have the advantage of being super easy. You would have to try very hard to screw up a functional opener!
However, functional openers do have some disadvantages as well. For example, while they are very good at getting a response, they are very impersonal. If you are going to use functional openers, then it is very important that you can bounce off them and quickly move the interaction in a more personal and sexual direction.
DIRECT OPENERS
Direct openers involve giving a girl a direct compliment. A lot of pickup lines fall into the direct opener category, but you should try to compliment women about their unique qualities instead of relying on something generic or pre-rehearsed.
THE KEY TO DIRECT OPENERS IS OBSERVATION.
As you become better at observing girls, so you will notice more positive qualities about them. This will make it much easier for you to come up with genuine, unique compliments. Done properly, direct openers can be very powerful because they will often put girls in a positive state right from the start.
The downside to direct openers is that they can catch girls by surprise. Most people aren't expecting total strangers to approach them with a compliment! So you need to be careful with how direct your compliment is. There is a fine line between genuine warmth and unnerving sleaziness!
OBSERVATIONAL APPROACHES
Observational approaches require more skill than functional or direct openers, but they can be the most powerful of the three when they are used properly! As the name implies, observational approaches involve starting a conversation by asking a question or making a statement about something that you have observed.
There are two ways that you can use observational approaches. The first is to pay close attention to girls who you are attracted to and identify something unique about them. It might be their posture, the clothes that they are wearing, or some trendy accessories that they have.
If you aren't good at noticing these subtle details then don't despair! OBSERVATION IS A SKILL THAT ANYONE CAN LEARN. Practise being more observant about the women who you encounter in your day-to-day life. Challenge yourself to notice five unique characteristics about every girl who you pass.
The second way to use observational approaches is to pay attention to your environment. This will allow you to make a situation-specific approach. For example, you could comment on something interesting in your immediate vicinity, like a unique work of art or a catchy song.
DON'T RELY ON APPROACHES - LEARN TO TRANSITION!
As I mentioned earlier, how you approach a girl is far less important than what most guys think. What really matters is how you transition from your opener!
I have seen guys who were brilliant at approaching girls. Some of them enjoyed a 100% success rate with their openers. However, that initial spark would usually die out after half a minute. Why? Because they lacked the ability to transition!
TRANSITIONING IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN OPENING. When you become great at transitioning, you will realize that what you say when you approach a girl is almost completely unimportant.
If you want to master this essential skill, then check out my Conversation Cure program. Not only will it help you develop your transitioning ability so that you can keep conversations going, but it will also teach you how to escalate your interactions with girls and move them in a more sexual direction.
Credit: pualib.blogspot.com
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