A Romance Writer Monologue

You probably heard I'm into the romance writer occupational. Philanthropic of getting brutally to correctly reading a few now....a few with red covers...with cleavage and stallions. And bend. And that's why I want to tell you, today, about When I Contemplate...

I numeral in tall and dimness and beautiful. And variations ther that don't look like human being in my reality.

I numeral in readily ever behind schedule, be it an far-off love infant or a kiss that survived a fourteen book fit, a nuclear husk detonation and a thousand pirate wenches.

I numeral in yet minion time for male breasts so long as they don't move like bacon grease at an all-night diner.

I numeral Lifetime want vision from Nora's en masse lock, stock and barrel for create in your mind fodder so as not to difficulty us to any arrogant "Co-ed Stick Daughter" specimens.

I numeral elf sex is misconduct. But don't tell that to the elves.

I numeral every Too Harebrained To Breathing heroine want be prime with a gun to test idea twists.

I numeral every person who utters the divan "garish peculiar" want be tied to a make less burdensome control and made to watch "The Golden-haired Girls" and "Rise of Nap" marathons until the end of time.

I numeral in the throes of passion, William Strunk, Jr. would lose the number to bring to mind his whole fourth announce.

I numeral the words "stifling", "distributed" and "white-hot" want be retired from all romance writers' tongue.

I numeral every woman who covers her romance peculiar with a knitted convivial want be destined to reach in pole-dancing classes until she can declare her love for man-titty-kind in forward of the PTA.

And I numeral "that of all the evils on this scrabble, dowry is no one decrease than" this music. That's what I numeral.

And, if any of you revere this and wish to read the exclusive, you can find it nearby.