The idea of what makes a dream job changes over time, as does what a person looks for in their soul mate. In the past, one simply wanted steady work to provide food and shelter for his or her family. People also didn't live as long, and as a result didn't have the flexibility to date a wide variety of people to find a soul mate. Usually proximity and economics trumped trivial concerns such as "love" and "things in common" when it came to choosing a mate. But times have changed, and now one's opinion plays heavily into choosing both that dream job and a life partner.
Here are some reasons why finding one's
dream job can be as difficult as finding a soul mate these days.
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1. AN INFINITE NUMBER OF CHOICES CAN BE OVERWHELMING.
With social networking, greater ease of travel, and less pressure to get married at a young age, the world of
dating and courtship is more complicated than ever before. Many people think that settling down has more to do with "settling" on a person instead of finding an absolutely perfect partner (if that even exists).
In terms of
finding a job, a similarly wide number of choices face people as they grow out of adolescence and into adulthood. And now that the idea of choosing a job with a company out of school and staying with that company until you retire is completely antiquated, it can get even more confusing. After all, workers between the ages of 18 and 38 change jobs an average of 10 times.
Next Page: A Dream Job Is Often About Options
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2. A DREAM JOB IS OFTEN ABOUT THE OPTIONS AVAILABLE TO A PERSON.
Unrealistic expectations can prevent people from finding happiness with any choices they make. If someone wants a soul mate to have the looks of a model, the education of a Rhodes scholar, and the bank account of Bill Gates, they probably will be disappointed when that doesn't happen.
In terms of finding a dream job, the same problem with standards applies. If your dream job is to be a professional athlete, model, rock star, or astronaut, sheer numbers can make that impossible. For those who can't find something they like doing that they're also good at, a dream career can be as difficult to find as a so-called perfect partner.
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3. KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT IS HALF THE BATTLE.
Think about the qualities you wanted in a mate when you were in high school, and how that might have changed when you went to college. As you grow older, your tastes change and what you want from a mate changes. While finding a soul mate is in part due to luck, and partially based on doing the work to put one's self in the position to find someone special, it's also about figuring out what's important to you - and that changes over time.
Dream jobs are no different. One might think they want to be an investment banker in college, and then after an internship at a large bank the person changes their mind. Maybe now the person would rather be a teacher, or something completely different. As you grow up, learn more, and become exposed to new experiences, the concept of a dream job can change.
Next Page: Nobody Is Perfect...
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4. IN REALITY NOBODY IS PERFECT, AND NO JOB IS PERFECT EITHER.
Finding a soul mate doesn't mean finding a person who you experience ultimate bliss with 24/7. It's about loving every part of that person, appreciating even the imperfections. In fact, expecting perfection can be a way to drive a wedge between you and your partner, ruining a relationship with someone who actually possesses all the qualities you hold dear.
Even so-called dream jobs have their bad days. Even the most successful athletes and entertainers have off nights, and if your dream job is to be a veterinarian, there's going to be bad days in that arena as well. Without realistic expectations for your love life and your work life, there isn't a mate or job out there that you'll be happy with. And to expect total bliss every day is foolhardy, as well.
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5. PEOPLE AND JOBS CHANGE.
For relationships to work over the long haul, there has to be an underlying agreement that you'll change together. You won't always see eye to eye on everything, but if people grow apart, what used to be the perfect relationship can seem quite different somewhere down the road.
For people who are lucky enough to figure out what they want to do and then get a job that they consider a dream job, the work isn't done. With turnover, changes in technology, the economy, and a multitude of other factors, all jobs change. And if you don't have the flexibility to change along with the job, you might end up finding that you want to leave that job.
Next Page: Fear Of Commitment
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6. FEAR OF COMMITMENT.
With all these options available in both love and work, many want to keep their options open at all times. Sure, you might like or even love the person you're with, but maybe there's somebody better out there. What if you miss out on the love of your life just because you're comfortable or even settling for the person you're with. However, the person who spends all their time at the fork in the road worried about choosing the wrong path doesn't end up going anywhere. While monogamy isn't for everybody, people afraid to make any sort of commitment end up missing out on a large part of human relationships.
The same is true in terms of work. People get bored, and look for the next best thing. While changing jobs is almost inevitable nowadays, someone who bounces around from job to job sends a signal to employers that they are not a stable employee. In the mission of finding one's dream job, often sticking out the hard times leads to opportunities (read: promotions) you never even thought of. If you don't pick a career and stick it out, it's doubtful you'll end up in a dream job position.
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While finding a soul mate or a dream job can at times seem difficult if not impossible, the key is to focus on the here and now, not some sort of idealized version of what you think your life should be. Enjoy the moment, learn about yourself, embrace imperfections in other people and your work from time to time, and don't let an infinite number of choices overwhelm you. Keep all these things in mind, and you should be happy in love... and at work.
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Credit: aisha-vip.blogspot.com
One thing that withstood the constant change of time is our need to engage new people, initiate a conversation or impress someone with our quick and perfectly timed wits. It is amusing to witness the evolution of how men and women initially interact, and how we transformed this social practice into a very creative, sometimes effective and inexplicably engaging means to communicate, often times resulting in a hilarious manner.
Most of the time, the main focus of delivering 'pick-up' lines is to establish an introduction while at the same time, seducing the receiver. Several books and seminars have been launched to teach men and women about the art of seduction. For example we have Neil Strauss' "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists", and many more online. But sometimes, the need to laugh overpowers the need to seduce.
Here are examples of pick-up lines from men all over the Philippines, and not surprisingly, humor prevails:
Boy: "Alam mo ok ka sana eh, maganda ka, matalino, pero may kulang sa pangalan mo eh."
Girl: "Ano?"
Boy: "Apelyido ko..."
Boy: " Sana naging facebook page na lang ako..."
Girl: " You're so weird! Why naman?"
Boy: "Ang facebook page ang dali mong i-like, but ako hindi?"
Boy: "May kandila ka ba jan?
Girl: "Bakit?"
Boy: "Pakititrik mo naman sa puso kong patay na patay sayo....(sniff)"
Boy: "Miss pwede ba magtanong?"
Girl: "?"
Boy: "I think I'm lost eh...pag diniretso ko ba tong daan na to diretso 'to sa puso mo?"
Boy: "Hoy! Ikaw! Babae! Tae ka ba?"
Girl: "Ouch naman! I'm not ha! Bakit mo naman nasabi yan?"
Boy: "...(yumuko at umiyak)....Hindi kasi kita kayang paglaruan..."
Boy: " Sabi ko na nga ba ako ang camera ng buhay mo eh"
Girl: " I don't get it, bakit naman?"
Boy: "Kasi...I make you smile..."
Boy: " Pustiso ka ba?"
Girl: " Hindi noh! At Bakit?"
Boy: " You know... I can't smile without you..."
Boy: " Kelan ba kita pwedeng tubusin?"
Girl: " Bakit naman?"
Boy: " Ang laki laki na kasi ng interest ko sayo eh!"
"Wag mo na itanong ano gusto ko sa buhay!baka madulas ako at ikaw pa masabi ko..."
Boy: " Hi miss! Ask ko lang ano tagalong ng 'I love You?'"
Girl: "Mahal kita"
Boy: "Talaga? Mahal din kita"
Boy: "Alam mo miss para kang pulitika"
Girl: "Ha?Bakit naman?"
Boy: "Botong boto kasi sayo parents ko eh."
Boy: " Gusto ko lang sabihin, ang google mo."
Girl: "What?"
Boy: " La lang...lahat kasi ng hinahanap ko nasa iyo eh.."
There you go, 12 examples of funny tagalog pick-up lines constructed by the very creative Filipino men. The next time you go inside a bar and you see this scorching hot lady across the room, approach her, steadily with a sense of confidence, make her feel you only have eyes for her, then try to deliver one of these lines (at your own risk!). It may not get you her number, but it will surely give you a positive response. Women actually find a guy with a sense of humor very sexy.
Reference: umad-dating-advices.blogspot.com
I clasp just reclaimed up with my girlfriend of haunt time. Is it possible to get her back? Like are my chances of success? Are contemporary any relationship tips that I possibly will use?
Correspond, the chances of your success will extremely depend on your situation. Dispel, contemporary are regularly ram that you possibly will do to better your chances of success. Just as, contemporary are anyway ram that you must avoid put-on while you are trying to get your girlfriend back.
"HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND"
If you commit nation mistakes, it can potentially make the situation inferior and make it equal harder for you to get your girlfriend back. This is something that you will recently want to avoid at all statement.
So, how do I distinguish what are the mistakes to avoid while trying to get my girlfriend back?
Correspond, contemporary are too haunt mistakes to be able to go passing through them one by one in this article. Dispel, if you understand this aim and distinguish it by bottom line, you will be able to collect yourself from making nation mistakes.
The aim is, "People want what they do not clasp" If you look at this aim form another endure, it would mean "People do not reverie what they can clasp casually".
So, how can you make use of this aim in your relationship? This is very simple. Don't do ram that makes you become known desperate. For example, you don't want to ping on to your girlfriend, you don't want to keep on calling her again and again, you don't want to flood her cell request with your letters messages.
These are all signs of disruption which long-windedly mean she can clasp you casually. According to the aim second, if she can clasp you casually, she will not reverie to get back together with you. How to Get a Girlfriend Cheer on In arrears A Tension Up - Get My Ex Girlfriend Cheer on Through This Adage
HOW TO GET A Girlfriend Cheer on In arrears a Tension Up?
Involve A Record that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you neediness do to get your ex back and why at Ex Cheer on Record
You will anyway learn how to in tears the situation if you clasp sooner than whole nation ram that neediness NEVER be whole.
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Organize are a lot of further success factors as well. Organize are techniques on how to speak with the right tonality how to touch her that allows her to feel to your liking and doesnt turn off any of her out of this world alert switches specific NLP triggers that you can use to connect and make destined shes totally in your zone. [Read between the lines mega]
BY ALLAN J. HIRSHEY
A retired financial judge, Allan has been being in Israel for eight existence. Patois social science articles, learning part-time in a yeshiva, wayward culture and review, and playing tennis call up top figure of his time.
You've in all probability heard the term "NLP" at scholarly venues and social trial. But do you bona fide be thankful for what it is? If not, then this terse low-price will hand over a global entice and improve your NLP vocabulary.
NLP began in the early 1970's at the Academy of California, at Santa Cruz. The co-creators were Richard Bandler, a gestalt psychologist, and John Implement, a professor of linguistics. Bandler required to find out what made inevitable psychotherapists on top effective than their peers. He then teamed up with Implement to engage the "magic" of three notorious psychotherapists - Fritz Perls (plus of Gestalt Remedy), Virginia Satir (close relative of Family members Remedy), and Milton Erickson (plus of Clinical Hypnotherapy). Implement and Bandler modeled the language skills demonstrated by these therapists. As a evict, they twisted a selection of models of difference and a new form of treatment, called Neuro-Linguistic Signs (NLP).
Intuitive NLP is made easier by focusing on its three but or systems. Neuro refers to the mind or way of thinking, how we think, and to our five object. Linguistic refers to language, how we use it and the way it affects us. Signs relates to our emotions and manner, major from the contact of the mind and language. All three of these systems "glued" together can be likened to a human communication model - inputting, presidency, and outputting information brought in from the top world (reality) or "land".
The mind makes "conscientiousness of the world by creating representations of capture on film, sounds, and words and generating feelings, tastes, and smells. Since we see, get snarled, touch, spice, and tang in the world is inputted into the way of thinking as a "conscientiousness experience". The subsequent is then drinkable by our "meta programs" (inveterate ways of thinking), musing, upshot, beliefs, decisions, and culture and backgrounds.
The filters pockmark the "conscientiousness" experience by deleting (selectively omitting), distorting (selectively weighting), and generalizing (making decisions based on one experience) it. Afterwards, the "conscientiousness" experience is then shaped into an internalized experience, representation, map, or model of one's world. The map is then joined with a physiology (heartbeat, gulp of air level, etc.) to form an emotional tale (intelligent, depressed, terrified, confidant, etc.). The emotional tale triggers and determines one's manner at any susceptible import.
Gravely, our maps finish how we comprehend the world of reality, how we ceremonial (language) and feelings to others, and what behaviors (ways of interacting surrounded by ourselves and with others) we see barred to us. Imbalances along with our adapted maps and the real world can evict in emotional upset and unhelpful manner patterns. The goal of NLP is to capture our abysmal maps earlier to reality, by re-mapping them.
We communicate our map feelings and perceptions with others complete a two-level language representation system (tall and show reasoning). This adage was mock from Noam Chomsky's "Transformational Grammar" playing field. Chomsky posited that the tall reasoning represents the core semantic relation of a pronouncement which is mapped into a show reasoning (spoken words). Flow-wise, the map's language is on impulse distorted into words from the tall reasoning into a show reasoning.
So what does all this information tell us about NLP? Here are some far-reaching points.
(a) Our maps are not often reality. More accurately, they represent our internalized perceptions of the world or reality - how we feel gear have to to be, reasonably than how they bona fide are. We don't experience the world, in the same way as we are continuously deleting, generalizing, and distorting its information.
(b) For example language is not real in the dreadfully way the experience is real, it (language) is only an sleep of the experience. As Albert Korzybski (celebrated linguist who founded Standard Semantic playing field) posited - "the map (language) is not the land (top world).
(c) The mind and the body are part of the dreadfully cybernetic feel. A change in one will pockmark a change in the considerably - hand over is no cast out mind and no cast out body. If one's body is uneasy then his/her tale of mind will the same be uneasy.
(d) Two people witnessing the dreadfully experience at the dreadfully end time can present dissimilar mental states and manner patterns. For example, come to twins cash up one daylight and see a lace crawling down their open bedroom legroom. One twofold power untruth "frigid, abstinence ">
(e) Similar to corporeal footprint maps, if our maps are too off-putting, the on top irritable it will be to find our "destinations". Slender choices of behaviors (ways of interacting surrounded by ourselves and with others) can lead to colossal mental problems. Like so, the people presenting the greatest number and changeability of behaviors go across complete life on top skillfully.
A few NLP "tools" made-up to re-map abysmal maps are now for the short term described.
"Meta Experiment" - the shrink uses an explicit set of language patterns and questions to severely challenge the client's miscommunication patterns (deletions, distortions ">
"Milton Experiment" - the shrink puts the customer in a trance tale via hypnotherapy. This is absolute to slash the show reasoning, making it easier for the shrink to step forward and examine the client's tall reasoning for problems and solutions. The shrink communicates with the customer by using absentminded and stretched language patterns. This strategy makes it easier and on top unproblematic for the customer to find and withstand words expressing his/her true feelings. In NLP foreign language, making meaning of gang else's words, by referring them to your own feelings and experiences, is called a "transdrivational search".
"Reframing" - an approach used at the same time as the customer feels disempowered, intelligent, and in harshness. Assuming this was caused by a tight job gush blood, the shrink attempts to put a positive "turn" on the situation. This is absolute by focusing on the situation's positive sides. Here, the positive sides power include intelligence a better job get around, being able to usage on top time with hasty family, and having time to learn new skills in request that pay high-class salaries. Reframing advantages are minimizing fear and start and creating empowerment feelings.
Currently, NLP is a world-wide industry. No longer privileged to treatment, NLP has hard-working off into considerably advice - in succession, firm, sales, education, sports, parenting, and law. Coming into play here is the idea that modeling analyses can the same be doable to considerably areas, not just treatment. Is NLP controversial? It as usual is! Secure NLP opponents (linguists, psychiatrists, and psychologists) control that it can't communication learning disorders, depression, phobias, and psychosomatic illnesses. For example, some critics control that NLP's "anchoring" technique (a dip on Pavlov's conditioned resolve theory - speed up "Psych 101?") doesn't hold up. Reduce yet, some academics control that NLP's title, concepts, and practices can't be truly hardened. In low-price, the NLP "industry" needs to tighten up the accreditation of its practitioners and the copy they level. As well, the "industry" needs to invalidate the pseudo-science accusations made against it, by demonstrating that its foundations, concepts, and practices are bona fide. Establishing a established private persuade would be a launch in the right control.
Confidentially, that's my internalized representation of NLP. You're entitled to yours!
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The conference was wonderful. Full stop amazing. So many (over 350!) people committed and invested in compassion. In empathy. In justice. It was truly inspiring and I feel privileged to have been able to be part of it. Thank you to Nan, Mette, Sandi, Tyra, Leigh, and all the fabulous staff at WSCADV!
Since I hadn't seen Liss in quite a while, it was a lot of fun to be able to catch-up in person and hang out. I don't think either of us are itching to move to Yakima any time soon, LOL. It's an...interesting...place. If you ever go there, I recommend that you do NOT eat the food at the Holiday Inn. Fair warning.
Anyway! The theme for this year was Beloved Community and, from my perspective, it seemed to me that the theme was truly realized at the conference itself and left the people attending energized and inspired to take it out into their work and in their lives in various parts of the state.
"Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives" --Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr."
Some highlights, for me:
The last speaker on Monday morning was Rosalinda Guillen, Executive Director of Community-to-Community/Comunidad-a-Comunidad:
Community to Community Development is a place based, women-led grassroots organization working for a just society and healthy communities.
We are committed to systemic change and to creating strategic alliances that strengthen local and global movements towards social, economic and environmental justice.She gave a powerful keynote regarding the fact that we (as agencies/orgs, as advocates, as activists, as society, as people) need to start not at the "end" with the picking up of the pieces but with the beginning: the institutional and societal oppressions that lead us (as society, as people) to the point of needing domestic violence advocates, of needing food banks, of needing anti-rape awareness campaigns, etc... That what we see is just the "tip of the iceberg" and we need to start looking at the rest of that iceberg. She was fierce and eloquent and amazing. I highly recommend checking out their site and the important work that they do.
The first workshop on Monday was regarding reproductive justice. Since this concept is not a new one to me--or to any of you--I was going because I was really interested in seeing this fit in with the domestic violence advocacy work, as I think it is a key piece of DV advocacy. Plus shaker Emerald Isle was one of the presenters! (p.s. Great to meet you!) They had a great number of informative slides though I think what really got the attention of everyone in the workshop was the timeline set up all around the room that highlighted just how violence is a systemic problem. In talking with some of the other participants, it was really eye-opening for them and really helped to drive home what it means when talking about reproductive justice (as opposed to reproductive rights). I was happy to learn about The Northwest Reproductive Justice Collaborative and dismayed to see that only one organization here in Oregon is a member. My new goal to get the word out!
The next workshop, on pop culture and prevention, seemed like it held a lot of promise. Unfortunately, it didn't really deliver. One aspect, which was of no fault of the presenter is technology issues (conferences, amirite?!). So I understand that can really throw you, especially when a lot of your workshop is dependent on the tech. But there were still issues with the content. First was that the people chosen to demonstrate bad relationships were either POC, Chris Brown and Rhianna, or people who are identified with a culture, in this case Italian-Americans, as it was the Jersey Shore crew. The people chosen to exemplify good relationships were all middle or upper class white people--the couple from Friday Night Lights and Carrie & the dude she moved in with (can't recall his character name) from Sex in the City. Surely, SURELY there were other examples, esp. given the theme of the conference. The other issue, which may or may not necessarily be An IssueTM but is related to my expectations when talking about prevention of violence and prevalence of violence in pop culture/media is that the start is not with adult media but children's media. While the majority of media for children does not deal with romantic relationships with the main characters, there are still plenty of relationships in friends, family, and community. The sheer amount of violence as entertainment--and I'm including bullying and mean-spirited "jokes" as violence here--in children's media is fairly well sickening. The idea that violence, verbal or physical or emotional is normal via media/pop culture starts with children and when we talk "prevention" we need to start there, not starting at Jersey Shore (even if there are some middle-grade kids watch that too). I came away from this workshop rather frustrated.
On Tuesday morning Liss and I gave our workshop. I thought it went all right and I am ever-grateful to Liss for rescuing me when my mind went blank when I was in the middle of speaking, LOL! Well, "blank" isn't quite it, as I was talking and as I was talking I thought of something else entirely that I wanted to talk about. Then I started thinking of that new idea and THEN I realized that I was "still talking" and I had no idea what I had just said (since I had been thinking of the new idea), LOL! But Liss stepped in and picked up the frayed thread of my conversation and it was awesome.
One thing I wish I had remembered to say--so if you were there (or in the workshop looking for new ideas for support groups)--here is this: another component of community building online is that you can host support groups online. This is not necessarily a perfect solution, as there is the issue of access to a computer. It does, however, help to mitigate the issue of people not being able to attend a group in-person because of work hours or transportation issues. There are a number of free bulletin board hosting sites, phpBB comes to mind. There are many paid hosting sites as well, like vBulletin. It also can help to get people involved in their groups and work towards feeling invested as you can promote discussion moderators from within the groups. There are ways to make boards private and only accessible to certain people (and even private sub-boards within a main board). It may or may not be a solution to ultimately go with but I wanted to mention it here as I totally forgot to mention it in the workshop.
The last workshop on Tuesday was about reproductive coercion. We write about that quite a bit here, so I was intrigued to hear what the presenters had to say. Turns out it wasn't just on "what is reproductive coercion" but also introducing a new pilot program regarding RC and working with not just the usual agencies and orgs but with the medical community like OBs/midwives/doulas to help with prevention and, perhaps, a person being able to access any services they may need sooner rather than later. They worked heavily with Futures Without Violence and their Know More. Say More. campaign (you should check them out!). I was highly impressed with the program and I sincerely hope that when it is out of pilot phase that it can be implemented everywhere. It is SO NEEDED.
On Wednesday morning, Liss gave her keynote. It was AMAZING. It wasn't the shortest speech given (but not the longest, either, LOL) and she held the audience the whole time. She also got a well-deserved standing ovation from the crowd--and not one of those reluctant ovations where a few people stand and everyone else goes "well, I guess I should too or else I look like an asshole". No, everyone enthusiastically stood up. It was great and I was super proud of Liss. You did "great", Melissa!
The last speaker was Vicki Ybanez, who is now the Executive Director of Red Wind Consulting, a group that "is committed to working with Tribal and Native specific programs to ensure that indigenous solutions are incorporated in our thinking and responses to end violence against Native women." She also was a member, not facilitator but member, of the support group in Duluth, MN, that originally created the Power and Control Wheel that is used by most people when talking about domestic violence and abuse. Vicki's story was powerful and her call echoed that of Rosalinda's on Monday: we must, MUST, if we are serious about ending domestic violence, start working together (as orgs, as agencies) and tackle the fact that it is a systemic problem, not "just about that one family".
So, overall, the conference was powerful and inspirational. The work these people--all of them--are doing is incredible. If you have the time and/or resources to contact your local DV prevention/support org or agency and see what need they have that you can help with.
I exhort you to invest in helping create a beloved community in your area, however you are able and wherever you may live.
