Janet Damita Jo Jackson was born on May 16, 1966 in Gary, Indiana, living in a lower class home with several brothers and sisters. Janet was the youngest. After her birth, her brothers formed a band later called The Jackson 5. She lived at home with her sisters, while her brothers, and dad, Joe Jackson, lived an extravagant life in Los Angeles. She later moved in with them while her brothers were making a name for themselves, and signed a deal with Motown. Janet was in the shadow but later also made a name for herself.As she was touring, and making appearances with her brothers, and the rest of the family, she co-starred with the rest of them in "The Jacksons". In 1977, she got the part of Penny Gordon on "Good Times". That showed her acting abilities early on. She also made a few memorable appearances on the hit TV show "Diff'rent Strokes" as Charlene Dupree. Soon afterwards came her role on "Fame".She married boyfriend James Debarge, but they divorced just months later. She signed with A&M Records, and recorded her first solo album titled "Janet Jackson". The album did poorly on the music charts. Two years later she recorded "Dream Street" which turned out to be another disaster. A year later she signed on Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis to record a third album, this time called "Control". It was a hit, selling 5 million copies in the U.S. alone, spawning six hits, and the #1 "When I Think of You". Afterwards, she fired her father, her manager to truly gain control.Janet was determined to make this happen again. She then recorded "Rhythm Nation 1814". This time it sold 9 million copies in the U.S. - a bigger hit than "Control"! She happened to fall in love with a dancer named Ren'e Elizondo, Jr. from one of her sister's, LaToya Jackson's music video and later secretly married him in March of 1991. That same year she got a star on the Hollywood walk of fame! Janet went to work on her fifth album simply called "Janet.". It was her biggest hit to date selling over 10 million copies in the U.S. alone and includes her biggest hit single to date, "That's The Way Love Goes". Two years later she released a Greatest Hits album "Design of a Decade" which included two new hits "Runaway", and "Twenty-Foreplay". Her seventh album "The Velvet Rope" clarified her pop culture status.In the mist of the release of The Velvet Rope, she divorced Rene Elizendo, which is when it emerged they had been secretly married for eight years. Janet recorded her eighth album "All For You". Another hit. She was honored by MTV as an MTV Icon. In 2004, Janet went to work on her next album "Damita Jo" - it was another hit.
I met "Jane" at a party thrown by a mutual friend. In the course of our conversation, she mentioned that she had an allergy to cats. When I suggested that hypnosis can frequently be helpful for allergy relief, Jane became interested, and asked if I could help her out that night at the party.
After a few questions about what was going on with Jane around the time the allergies started, she remembered just when the allergy began. She had a cat that she loved dearly, and she had seen him killed by two dogs. And, she said to herself at that time, "I'll never get close to a cat again."
This a dramatic example of unintentional self hypnosis. The trauma had put Jane into an altered state of consciousness much like what we commonly think of as hypnosis, and her unconscious mind had taken her suggestion to herself both literally and figuratively.
There is a simple technique from NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) to eliminate a phobia, that works very well for releasing the responses to traumatic memories as well. It involves the person watching the memories of the traumatic event rapidly running backwards repeatedly. Running memories backwards tend to scramble the brain's associations to the original fears or other traumatic emotions. The result is that the memories become emotionally neutral. Jane naturally slipped into a light state of hypnosis as she ran her memories backwards, and that allowed her to something extraordinary.
Once she ran those memories backwards, Jane was able to hold her host's cat in her arms. It was the first time that she had been able to get close to a cat in years.
Of course, not all allergies start with a trauma, which is the reason that multiple hypnosis techniques and approaches have been developed for allergy relief as well as other issues. A hypnotherapist who is skilled in NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis will be able to create a unique approach for a client when the need arises.
My daughter was recently in her school's performance of Fiddler On TheRoof. She was one of the daughters. If you don't know the story, it focuses on the changing culture of marriage, from one where the marriage is arrainged by family and community to one based on mutual attraction.
In one of the songs, the main character asks his wife if she loves him. She replies that for 25 years, she has shared his bed, made his meals, tended his house, raised his children -- so what kind of question is that? The point is that in their relationship, love wasn't even a question or consideration. But after some back-and-forth, they decide that, indeed, they love each other.
This led me to think about what I know about marriage. And here is what I think about the question of love and marriage: we fall in love to get together, then spend the rest of our lives learning to love the other.
You see, the initial attraction is really about "I. I" feel a certain way, so I know I am "in love." But that part of the relationship is driven by my need to feel that way, my need to be with the other person, my need to have my needs met. My needs are fueled by my desire to feel the intense emotion of "being in love."
But in reality, love is a verb, something I do for the other. So, it takes the rest of my life to learn how to attend to my spouse's needs. From my desire to be with my spouse comes my desire to meet my spouse's love needs.
We are "fooled" into commitment by the overwhelming feeling of attraction, and then we have to put forth effort to create a sustained relationship. I say "fooled" because our culture has us believing that this love is the foundation of a relationship. It is not. It is merely a temporary starting point. It is not the destination. It is just a part of the journey to a lifetime relationship.
Those intense feelings will calm over time. The overwhelming need to be with someone that marks the infatuation portion of a relationship is not sustainable on its own. It's like placing a flame in a bottle. Eventually, the flame will burn all the oxygen in the bottle and be extinguished.
So, there has to be some "fueling of the fire." This is "love," the verb. When I act in loving ways, I fuel the fire and keep it burning. If I stop tending to the other's needs because I don't feel that infatuation, the relationship will slowly (or not so slowly) die away.
When we continue to believe that "love" (infatuation) is the heart of a relationship, when that feeling is gone, we believe we are no longer in love. That is not the case; we have just failed to fuel the fire.
Reality TV has proven that any two people, given the right circumstances and settings, can fall into love (chemistry of infatuation). But story after story shows that it is harder to make the switch to "true love" that comes from action. Choose action, and don't be fooled by chemistry.
By acting on love, by making love a verb and not an emotion, we keep the emotional fire stoked. And that is the great irony: if we depend on the feeling of being in love to keep us together, it will fail. But if we set that aside and focus on being loving, the feeling of being in love is sustained. Mature love is a verb, not an emotion.
Are you ready to fuel your love? Grab the best-selling resource on the internet for saving marriages: Save The Marriage, Even If Only You Want It! You can find it at http://www.SaveTheMarriage.com
Mitch Albom of "Tuesdays with Morrie" fame apparently thinks so. A sample:
South Koreans treat school like a full-time job plus a full-time marriage. They put in day hours and night hours, followed by weekend hours. It is not uncommon to see children in school uniforms walking home late at night. It is not uncommon to see them studying through weekends. There is private English education on top of the public education. Families split apart to improve a child's training. You hear stories about schooling that runs from sunrise past sunset, with breakfast, lunch and dinner being served in the building.
What you don't hear is cheerleading squads. What you don't hear is spring break trips to Canc'un. What you don't hear is classes to boost self-esteem, to celebrate an ethnic group, to explore the arts. What you don't hear is "Glee" or "High School Musical" or other coolness-driven entertainment fantasies about high school fashion, sex, talent or jockdom.
There is an obsession with getting ahead here that begins with the classroom and permeates the adult workplace, where rigid hours and meager vacation days are the norm. The attitude mimics one you heard among American immigrants in the early 20th Century: "If you don't do well in school, you won't get to college, if you don't get to college you won't get a god job, and if you don't get a good job, you'll be a loser."
There is no shame in that lecture here. It is not viewed as corny or clich'ed. It is part of the national pride, if not the national obsession.
How are American kids going to copy that? We're not disciplined enough, we're not hungry enough, and, most importantly, either parents don't say it enough, or if they do, kids ignore them.
...Which, by the way, doesn't mean Korean kids are happier. It may be quite the opposite. Everywhere I went, I encountered teenagers in love with my book "Tuesdays With Morrie," because the teacher in it showed compassion and encouraged humanity, not just grades. Many kids told me, "I wish in my life I would meet a Morrie."
...Our kids laugh more, play more sports, express themselves more openly. The kids here are serious beyond compare, and they are driven to succeed. I'm not sure which system I'd prefer, but I know they are apples and oranges, and the length of a school year is only a tiny difference. Korea's kids just like ours, 100 years ago [Detroit Free Press, via Marmot's Hole]
It is very easy to find many, many faults to Albom's column. Albom's self-professed expertise in Korea amounts to all of one week visit to Korea. Accordingly, in the course of making this point, Albom filled the column with trite charcterizations of Korean culture. ("Gee whiz, Korean language has honorifics! How exotic!") The biggest fault is the headline. The column's headline is provocative, but the column itself makes no attempt to actually make the connection between Korea's students and America's students of 100 years ago. In fact, the Korean has to wonder why that headline was even necessary, given that the headline, standing alone, seems to suggest that Korea of today holds something good that America used to hold. But one of Albom's points is that Korea and the U.S. are apples and oranges, and America's attempt to emulate Korean educational system piecemeal is naive.
But the Korean does think that Albom's true main point, although poorly articulated, is worth considering: that fixing America's educational system cannot be limited to nibbling around the margins of the system. Instead, it will take a holistic look at the major forces that fuel and animate the system, and direct such forces to the way we want them to go.
In fact, that is a point similar to the one that Washington Post columnist Robert Samuelson makes:
"Reforms" have disappointed for two reasons.... The larger cause of failure is almost unmentionable: shrunken student motivation. Students, after all, have to do the work. If they aren't motivated, even capable teachers may fail.
Motivation comes from many sources: curiosity and ambition; parental expectations; the desire to get into a "good" college; inspiring or intimidating teachers; peer pressure. The unstated assumption of much school "reform" is that if students aren't motivated, it's mainly the fault of schools and teachers. The reality is that, as high schools have become more inclusive (in 1950, 40 percent of 17-year-olds had dropped out, compared with about 25 percent today) and adolescent culture has strengthened, the authority of teachers and schools has eroded. That applies more to high schools than to elementary schools, helping explain why early achievement gains evaporate.
Motivation is weak because more students (of all races and economic classes, let it be added) don't like school, don't work hard and don't do well. In a 2008 survey of public high school teachers, 21 percent judged student absenteeism a serious problem; 29 percent cited "student apathy."School reform's meager results [Washington Post]
The Korean does think that there are many tangible things of Korean educational system from that American educational system can emulate, including longer school hours. (To be sure, this is not an exhortation that American education system to become exactly like Korean educational system, which has plenty of faults of its own.) But as Albom and Samuelson point out, ultimately it will take a change of attitude to truly achieve reform. The Korean thinks such change is possible, but only over a long period of time following a series of reforms toward a consistent direction. But that's a topic for another day.
"Got a question or a comment for the Korean? Email away at" firstname.lastname@example.org.
In the new year, I will be embarking on a new chapter in my life. My husband and I will be moving from New York to California. As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, this should be the perfect opportunity to use some of the coping strategies I've learned in therapy. But I've already hit a snag and I haven't even begun packing: No one seems to be happy for me.
My oldest friends, all of whom I've known since I was a teenager, don't have one good thing to say about our big move.
When I say, "I'm moving to L.A.," people seem to think I'm asking them, "What do you think of Los Angeles?" It's not that I don't care what anyone thinks, but I'm not in the habit of consulting people about a place they've never lived or never even visited. From the unsolicited critiques I have received so far, it seems a great deal of people have very strong feelings about Los Angeles.
I told one friend, "I'm sorry I forgot to tell you, we're moving to L.A. this winter."
He immediately responded, "Los Angeles has its head just as far up its butt as New York City."
How does one respond to that? "Well I guess you won't be visiting us there either"? So far I've avoided my knee-jerk reaction, which is to be absolutely sarcastic: "Gee, I'm so happy I told you."
Oddly, these same people were mum when my husband and I moved to Brooklyn eight years ago. It's important to note that of the friends I'm speaking of, only one of them lives in New York City and he's all but sitting shiva for us. He says he's devastated that we are moving, and yet I haven't seen him in almost three months.
The negativity is building up and it has me wondering with whom I've surrounded myself. How long have I been making friends with people who have an automatically pessimistic response to a very big, life-changing decision?
While the negative reaction to my move hasn't made me doubt my decision, it has hurt my feelings. When I think about it and take stock, I'm forced to call my depression up to the front of the class. It slinks up slowly and carelessly. It's much tinier than it used to be, just about three feet tall.
"Depression, did you go looking for pessimistic friends to mirror our own negativity?" I ask.
"Maybe-" my depression shrugs.
"Well that makes sense," I say. "You can take your seat."
The negative response from friends doesn't make me feel more anxious about the move, but my depression takes a keen interest. It likes to accumulate reasons not to get out of bed in the morning. It likes to heap negativity onto my back when I really need to muster hope to move forward.
Misery loves company. My sadness is very adept at finding something to be sad about. That's how it grows and grows until it can't be ignored or surpassed.
I can see where I was probably more attracted to negative people, especially when I was younger. I gravitated toward wallflowers, non-risk takers, lovers of sarcasm with a cynical view of the world. I was looking for a George Carlin in a friend when I was a young adult.
On the other hand, at 30 I married my best friend, who's an eternal optimist. He's an outgoing, amicable man who lights up a room and isn't afraid of change. Without meaning to, he's taught me a lot about looking at the bright side and his optimism has rubbed off.
For every letdown, I try to think of something positive to look forward to. When I hear, "Ew, I hate L.A." I try to remind myself that I love it. I'm finished with Northeast winters. I never intended to live in NYC for the rest of my life. I'm ready for something new. While the idea might intimidate some people, I've moved all over the country. I'm an old hand at this, and the older I get the more I know about what I want and need.
I forgive myself for being attracted to negativity and picking up the negative nuggets in life like they're bits of gold. But if experience has taught me anything, it's that things go my way more often than they don't, without the approval or permission of anyone else. I won't live a life defined by the fears of others -- I've got plenty of my own to deal with.
Lily met Holden when he began working as the stable boy at the Walsh estate. She was an immediately attracted to the brooding Snyder and soon became close with his entire family, including his older sister, Iva (Lisa Brown). Over the next year and a half it was slowly revealed that Iva was Lily's biological mother, and then later that Iva was adopted (so Holden and Lily weren't actually related). In a dramatic scene at the Walsh stables, Iva revealed the truth to Lily when she thought her daughter was in danger from Rod (William Fichtner). Lily fled to Wyoming and Holden followed.
Holden and Lily bonded in Wyoming and admitted their love for each other. But their happiness was short-lived when Lily learned Holden knew the truth of her adoption long before she did. She turned to her best friend, Dusty (Brian Bloom) and lost her virginity while Holden married a pregnant Emily (Melanie Smith). Fast forward three years and Holden and Lily were married. He had divorced Emily, and Lily had married Derek (Thomas Gibson), who was killed. The theme of their story over the next 20 years was "find my way back" as no matter complication came their way (Holden's brain, Damian Grimaldi, Lily's twin, etc) they could never stay away from each other for long. When the series ended in 2010, Holden and Lily weren't married but on good terms knowing they would always be in each other's lives forever.
Holden and Lily were instantly popular with AS THE WORLD TURNS fans, though there was a group who were torn between Holden and her best friend, Dusty. Holden's edge added a much-needed sexiness to the show and viewers were drawn into the complicated Snyder storyline through the eyes of Lily, who saw them as a kinder, gentler alternative to life with her mother, Lucinda (Elizabeth Hubbard).
As the years went on, and even when the writing became convoluted and worked against the couple, the chemistry between Hensley and Byrne remained irresistible.
Over the years, Hensley and Byrne received 11 Emmy nominations (Byrne won twice) and 12 Soap Opera Digest Award nominations between them. In 2000 they were nominated as Favorite Couple.
- LILY MEETS HOLDEN AT THE STABLES (1985)
- LILY LEARNS IVA IS HER MOTHER (1987)
- LILY AND HOLDEN'S 1998 WEDDING
- "FIND MY WAY BACK" - LILY REMEMBERS (2005)
SoapClassics released The Story of Lily and Holden on DVD earlier this year.
Share your thoughts on Holden and Lily in our "Comments" section below or on our MESSAGE BOARD.
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As an academic, I have always gravitated toward structuralism. It is a beautiful way to look at the world, language, and art.
It is a very Jewish way to see the world-as part of the fabulous riddle that Hashm has given us, something deeper than it appears, more magnificent than we could realize, greater than the sum of its parts, "the search for unsuspected harmonies."
His work stands as testament to his great mind, and the work of those who followed his lead stand testament to his great legacy.
Goodbye, dear Levi-Strauss. You left the world much better than you found it. You provided keys to meaning that many of us lacked without your insight.
May your family by comforted by Hashm.
French thinker Claude Levi-Strauss dead at 100
by: Carole Landry
(AFP) French anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss, who helped shape Western thinking about human civilisation, has died at the age of 100, his publisher and colleagues said Tuesday.
Levi-Strauss died on Friday and was buried at a private service in the Burgundy village of Lignerolles, where he had a house, senior colleagues said.
"Two years ago he broke his hip and he had been very tired ever since. He died at a grand old age," said Philippe Desacola, his successor as head of the social anthropology laboratory at the College of France research institute.
A family friend said relatives chose to wait before announcing his death to protect their privacy and avoid a media storm at his funeral.
Trained as a philosopher, Levi-Strauss shot to prominence with his 1955 book "Tristes Tropiques" (A World on the Wane), a haunting account of travels and studies in the Amazon basin and one of the 20th century's major works.
Paying tribute, President Nicolas Sarkozy gave "homage to a tireless humanist, a curious academic who was always in search of new knowledge, to aman free of any sectarianism or indoctrination."
The French leader described him as a "very great scholar, always open to the world, who created modern anthropology and raised the reputation of French human and social sciences to its highest level."
His predecessor Jacques Chirac, who opened the Paris museum of tribal arts at Levi-Strauss' side in 2006, paid respect to "a thinker who dedicated his life to understanding and explaining cultures, their strengths, their diversity, their greatness and their fragility."
Levi-Strauss was a leading proponent of structuralism, which sought to uncover the hidden, unconscious or primitive patterns of thought believed to determine the outer reality of human culture and relationships.
Structuralism was also, Levi-Strauss liked to say, "the search for unsuspected harmonies."
French academia and the cultural elite had mobilised for his 100th birthday last year to pay homage to Levi-Strauss with a programme of films, lectures and reflection on his contribution to modern thinking.
Among the more striking conclusions of his work was the idea that there is no fundamental difference between the belief systems and myths of so-called "primitive" races and those of modern Western societies.
He was the oldest member of France's prestigious Academie of leading intellectuals, a respected but retiring figure, who had said he no longer felt at home on an overpopulated planet.
In a 2005 television interview, Levi-Strauss expressed worry about ending his days in "this world that I do not love."
What I see are the current devastation, the frightening disappearances of living species, be they plants or animals. Because of its current density, the human species is living in a type of internally poisonous regime."
Levi-Strauss was born in Brussels in 1908, the son of French Jewish parents from the German-speaking region of Alsace. He studied philosophy and in 1935 went to Brazil, where he became a professor at the University of Sao Paolo.
He studied the lives of the tribes of the Mato Grosso and the Amazonian rainforest, collecting material for theories on the underlying structures of human relationships and myths shared by various cultures.
Returning to France in 1939 he was conscripted, but after the Nazi invasion he was, as a Jew, forced to flee to the United States, where he taught while awaiting his chance to return home and restart his career.
He was given the chair in social anthropology at the College de France in 1959, where he worked until retirement in 1982.
"Straddling the worlds of philosophy and science, his work is essential for any attempt to reflect on our society and how it works," said Denis Bertholet, one of Levi-Strauss' biographers.
"He had an ecological approach to the world and to individuals that was ahead of its time."
Every now and again, all a girl needs is a night in with her best girlfri3nds! But choosing the flick can be a chore!
So, we've narrowed down our favourite chick flicks for you and your girlfri3nds to gather round and indulge in...over a bottle of plonk and a box of chocs, of course!
1. DIRTY DANCING
Almost every girl in their right mind has seen this at least ten times! But if you've managed to miss this ultimate chick flick, you are missing out!
Gather your girls and get ready to sing and dance along to your hearts' content to classic hits like "Time of my life".
2. THE NOTEBOOK
The ideal film for real believers in love, The Notebook is the ultimate tear-jerking love story about young sweethearts who are forced to choose between true love and class order.
While you're shopping for popcorn, stock up on the tissues too - your girlfri3nds are going to need these!
Okay okay we were mistaken! THIS is the ultimate heart-breaking, tear-jerking story. With a theme similar to the Notebook, Titanic tells the story of two people from differing social backgrounds who meet during the ill-fated voyage of the Titanic.
On the plus side, Titanic stars the beautiful Leonardo DiCaprio, who makes it through most of the three hour film!
4. HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
If you're having doubts about a man you're dating - WATCH THIS FILM! This flick holds all the answers to your burning questions about your funny old relationship!
If you're not having doubts but fancy a giggle and a moan about men, then this film is for you too, girlfri3nd!
5. NOTTING HILL
Starring two of the most renowned chick flick icons, Notting Hill tells the story of an unlikely relationship between bookshop owner Will (Hugh Grant) and Hollywood pin up Anna (Julia Roberts).
True to form, Hugh Grant plays a blunderous yet loveable character who you and girlfri3nds will be rooting for throughout this film!
6. 500 DAYS OF SUMMER
It might feel like a love story, but it's not. And, it might trick you into believing it's a love film...right up until the last five minutes!
500 days is a great film to watch with girlfri3nds of yours who are into indie films or in denial love stories!
Surely we can all relate to falling for someone we shouldn't? Even if they do have fangs!
If you're partial to a bit of vampire fiction, then Twilight is a definite must see for you and your girlfri3nds! A little bit edgy, a lot of love and the thrill of the "will they won't they?" romance!
8. MOULIN ROUGE
A story about love and loss beautifully told through the power of song, dance and some big name performers, including Ewan McGregor, Nicole Kidman and Jim Broadbent.
Fabulously sparkly scenes, hilarious lines and classic songs with a Parisian twist, Moulin Rouge is the perfect film to choose for a night in with the girlfri3nds - because you "can can can".
9. BRIDGET JONES' DIARY
A film that you and all your girlfri3nds can relate to, Bridget Jones is packed from start to finish with hilarious lines and "we've all been there" scenes of embarrassment!
A normal woman, Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger) is continually battling with her weight, body hang ups, job, life and lack of a man! But she soon finds herself torn between two men who are keenly after her affections (ooh the lucky girl!) but which will she choose? The dapper boss, Daniel Cleaver or reserved Mark Darcy?
10. LOVE ACTUALLY
So, it's technically a Christmas film, but we think it's perfectly acceptable for you and your girlfri3nds to indulge in Love Actually.
It's feel-good, it's funny and what's more, it's got a totally star studded cast! So, it's bound to feature one of your most loveable comic actors! Wonderful!
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