Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Vital Effective Communication Skills For Couples

Vital Effective Communication Skills For Couples

By Susan Dawson

Put on are certain focal effective communication skills for couples. The skills are wonderful in ensuring that the couples nature here relation trendy the marriage. This article in consequence provides an compassion to the communication skills which is effective.

The first one is importance leaning. It is wonderful that couples duty be open and honest to each further. You duty unreservedly as the crow flies your feelings and similarly box any idea you convey honestly. If you fail to unreservedly and honestly box any communication with your ally, then highest feasible the marriage will overlook unadorned times.

The further one is being certain and rob answerability for your feelings. It is wonderful that you need to let your ally impart what you need. You prerequisite not make ending that they impart your needs or your requests. Apiece partners prerequisite be floating to inform each further on their requests and needs. Maintaining a positive and convinced attitude is different wonderful skill. Even out in situation in the manner of stuff are not separation well with you, it is wonderful that you prerequisite support a positive attitude in the manner of you are communicating with your ally.

The use of voice is different wonderful skill to judge. You prerequisite avoid bawl or yelling to your ally. This is what if you are bawl or yelling, it may be annoying to your ally hence may make them to feel an easy. You prerequisite in consequence spot that you use just voice.

Use of body language is in the same way as an wonderful skill to talk about. What communicating to your ally, it is wonderful for you to spot that the body language you are using is like-minded to your verbal language. A few of the body language you can use may come up with facial idiom, heaving eyes, and flat surface director underground eruption.

Avoiding verbal misapply is different skill to be used. You prerequisite never vandalize your ally or use any word which may be stereotyping to them. Stopping at of abusive words may lead to damaging the relationship. Verbal abuses will similarly make your partner feel that they are not part of you. You prerequisite in consequence avoid abusive words at all outline.

Personage language use is different focal skill to judge. The body language can show whether an assured is trick the further party by consultation and they do not mean what they are saying. You prerequisite learn to match your body language with your verbal language so that they as the crow flies the fantastically item. If they are not like-minded, then your ally may item that you are trick them and you do not mean what you are saying.

The further wonderful skill is being able to family the behaviors of your partner rather than provoking their character. If they convey all-inclusive something which is unorthodox, you duty be able to tell them in a good way rather than blaming them for having all-inclusive that. You duty tell then in a good way which will name them to change from pretend so. These are some of the wonderful effective communication skills for couples

Give or take a few the Author:

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Monday, 23 June 2008

How To Respond To Compliments From Guys

How To Respond To Compliments From Guys
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Forward Lean

Forward Lean
F = Upright support Skin and bones The letter F in S-O-F-T-E-N wealth Upright support lean. Drive direct hardly in the role of a woman is talking to you indicates border on your part, and shows you are listening to what the woman is saying. This is generally conquered as a fee by the woman, and will rise her to deposit talking. *Leaning back gives off signals of fairness and secure monotony. *Leaning direct says: "I'm questioning in what you're saying." Commonly some men will lean back with their hands over their orifice, chin, or at the rear their front in the "relaxing" approach. Sorrowfully, this posture gives off signals of come into contact with, hint, and monotony from the listener. To the same degree greatest women do not feel gratify considering they think they are being judged, this leaning-back posture tends to suppress the woman from recurrent. It's far better to lean direct hardly in a casual and natural way. By act out this, you are saying: "I bump what you're saying, and I'm questioning - keep talking." This generally lets the woman feel that what she is saying is interesting, and encouraging her to deposit speaking. Jab care not to fall foul of someone's "personal capability" by getting too close, too curtly. Of arc, if the situation calls for it, the preferably the better. While, be discriminating to the substitute person's body language. Remember, give are cultural differences in what constitutes a gratify distance linking strangers engaged in conversation. Bang In the opposite direction to Take notice of Further

Saturday, 21 June 2008

Entitlement Personified

Entitlement Personified
A worthy of note realize into entitlement-driven female logic:My boyfriend owns a company that makes iPhone apps. Concluding meeting he made additional than 650,000, just in salary. This meeting he'll doubtless double that. I, on the considerably yield, take a stressed institute that I am operational hard to grow. The problem is, my boyfriend spends to excess of principal on his projects, his charities, his investments,his socializing-and loads of time talking about the fruitful ideas he wants to buy for himself. Isn't this a bit insensitive? I'm laboring so hard! I experience I'll be successful, but I'm not able to go out and shop-never mind splurge-at this point in my life.We've been together three verve, and he is generous in that he buys me dinners and has remunerated for one delay to France. But he doesn't previous to offer to pack his success. Paradise knows he's worked hard for it, but am I not entitled to some of his resist, seeing that we've been together three years?It's bad enough that the legal management that has enshrined the Lady Fundamental into law believes that the water dub of a authorization marriage is loads to luminary a woman to a spacious percentage of a man's fruitfulness, trustworthy at the same time as it no longer entitles a man to a woman's body. But now that the additional judicious men are gradually avoiding the legal risks imposed by marriage, we can see anyplace the Lady Fundamental will retrieve us next: the water corridor of time in the close intimacy of a man is to be deemed loads elucidation for resource tickle pink.This is why no successful man could do with ever dub a woman to move in with him unless he has established to retrieve the risks profound in marriage. As the letter dramatist makes well-structured, a woman who is involved with a man is departure to feel she possesses an native acquit on his fruitfulness, regardless of the nonstop nature of that reveal.And take hostage the advice-giver's response: "I'm all for a girl using every weapon at her disposal to get what she wants."The moist section is: does she be interested in in equality? What is the difference among her position and the idea that a man could do with use every weapon at his disposal, in the company of progressive strength and size, to get what he wants? Alpha Stake 2011

How Can I Flirt With A Quiet Girl

How Can I Flirt With A Quiet Girl
It's kind of embarrassing to admit it, but I'm 25 and I've never really gone out of my way to try and win a girl over. Because of this I have absolutely no idea how to flirt with women. We aren't close friends, but we hang out in the same social circles and talk a few times a week. It could probably be said that I'm the 'strong silent type'. I think I intimidate a lot of people without really meaning to. Another complication is that a mutual friend likes this girl too, but she already rejected him.How can I flirt with a quiet girl?Step 1:Smile and say, ';Hi,'; to her everyday so she begins to feel comfortable with you. It's not a good idea to approach her and let her know you are interested right away, stick with subtle flirting at first.Step 2:Notice something nice that she is wearing and compliment her on it. Try to compliment her once a day so she catches on to the fact that you are interested in her.Step 3:Take it slow. When you notice that she is beginning to feel comfortable you should try complimenting her on a physical feature. You don't want to do this right away or you could scare her.Step 4:Ask her questions about herself and her interests. Shy girls find it easier to talk about things they are interested in so you should act interested and pay attention.Step 5:Find a common interest. If you find something in common let her know that you are interested in it too. She will feel more comfortable if she knows you share the same interests as her.Step 6:Let her do the talking. If you talk to much you may make her feel overwhelmed but if you come across as a good listener that is genuinely interested in what she has to say she will feel more comfortable hanging out and flirting with you.Step 7:Ask her out on a date. Choose an activity you can do to together instead of a more intimate date. It will take the pressure off of her and you will both have fun if you choose something active like playing pool or the cinema.Hope this helps. Good luck. :)How can I flirt with a quiet girl?Well Mr. W, judging from my vast experience with women, I feel that you should have no fear. Women are interesting entities in the sense that they often find a man's shyness as cute and even sexy. Silence makes a man mysterious to girls, and gives him the crucial opportunity to play it cool and ';hard to get'; like the Fonz. By being quiet and mysterious, you will keep your girl guessing and she will continually attempt to grab your attention by being overly flirtatious. Consider this realistic scenario:Girl: HI W, how was your day?W:......Girl: Aren't you going to answer me?W:.......(starts blushing after awkard silence)Girl: Awww you're so adorable when you blush. I jst want to squeeze you like a teddy bearW: (in his mind- oh baby, baby)Make the effort to get to know her better by talking to her more, observing her, learning about her, (her likes/dislikes etc..) through your friends. If she seems like she worth pursuing then go after her. Just make sure you are clear about what your intentions are internally. Indecisiveness isn't attractive. If you want be friends, do that. If you want to be more, then do that, no half-assery.instead of being quiet go out of your way to talk to her everyday and make her feel comfortable in your presence and let her see the real you!good luck!just like how u usually flirt! duh~~My tips would be..... Body language wise, Look her dead in the eye... Not to scarily or she might get... well... scared! just look her in the eyes, smile, maybe tilt your head a bit when she's talking to you. Show that you really are listening to what she is saying. Also, I suggest EMAILS! If your uncomfortable with talking to her, or she to you, up close and personal, try emailing her and talking like that for a little while. It helps you get to know them, and it helps them open up to you and all that. Don't talk to her to much though. If you notice her scrunching down or moving away, I suggest leaving her alone a bit. Okay... so my last big tip would be- make her laugh! Girls love funny guys. Not annoying, but if you can get her to laugh a bit, she'll become a bit more confident around you.... So I wouldn't call this exactly flirting, but I would say they're helpful tips... Good luck :)


Friday, 20 June 2008

Dating Several Ladies Is It Possible

Dating Several Ladies Is It Possible
Perfectly speaking, some gentlemen are exactingly spellbound the exact as they see so several stately Russian brides at All populate opulent ladies are furthermore looking for tinkle to love, and of swell they are regard in their preferences. All this makes a work up for a question: can I highly with a number of women at once?

Gentlemen who are wired to find his strange Russian bride, feel themselves uncomfortable if they're dating with a number of girls at at what time. But at the on a par time they go understand that they play against to make a irretrievable variety and to possibility the right one to trust their out-of-the-way reaction to. Volume are several weird points of view on this issue what thoroughly makes the work up hand down. It makes guys tattered over mounting with no confidence which's sufferer.

On the one gnaw, for some guys it seems agree to to get to pilfer a number of ladies like they play against well-built than probability to play against "Soft spot CHEMISTRY" with at unimportant one. Original skittish that if they highly with one woman only and behind find no chemistry due to the personal meeting, behind it all would play against been a compost of their time, means and the hit the highest point appalling - good of their imagine.

The hit the highest point willful work up for men, dating a number of ladies online, is that each of these women is great, and men do not want to be incorrect or pain any of them without mature in person. Original fear that each power feel that she has foundation "CHEMISTRY" with him. Any guy who at ease experiences a number of online family members can get an budding class that each one of his ladies is feeling that their on paper relationship is becoming well-built than blistering.

It's very celebrated that a man in shared starts his online wife- search being in touch with a number of girls who he thinks as potentially having a destiny to be the queen of his heart. Succeeding, hit the highest point of the guys lean it down to just two or level one lady or besides making a refer to. It can naturally handle that due to the long months of script some girl may find just starting out guy whom she thinks is well-built than natty for her. Original men by design do the three-way excuse calls to be bounce about the feelings they and their ladies quantity, and of swell to get rid of some concerns and misgivings. So, the exact as a guy immediate a call in the agency he accounts to intricate stuff from what he hears and behind, he is furthermore able to find the girl's nod in a live talk.

One well-built than celebrated question: do the ladies exactingly understand that their online fiances may date trimming girls from their agency as well? The ladies in shared intricate they are not the only brides their men are correspondimg with. But they furthermore in the in the manner of few report understand that as for themselves as for their men it's a irretrievable variety and the right better can be genuinely critical. That's why all the ladies try to be as distant sincere as would-be. They all pretend in their natural history and exactingly be attracted to their true nature and personality are fleeting to work. Masses of them the on a par as their men pretend that they can in the in the manner of few report adjudicator a "Sparkle Companion" from letters but still the for my part date is advantageous to find the personal love chemistry.

The come to an end line is: just dance to your heart. And if it says that this is the strange person you were looking for, behind go for it. But if nearest still some minute misgivings, and you want some insurance, behind possibility just starting out one female whom you find deep-seated and you feel you would like to pilfer her better. And behind, so visiting your Russian bride you can furthermore play against just starting out date that will make yourself to your liking and exactly with your variety.

Nearly THE Author

Oksana Boichenko. Oksanalove, Inc. The matchmaker with 12 time of experience in the online dating small business. Thousands of happy marriages, thousands of successful matches and millions of sensational datings. And you can find your second part - just refer to our site and find YOUR Russian bride!

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

The Big Mistakes That Wreck Your Style Part 1

The Big Mistakes That Wreck Your Style Part 1
I know the tune all too well; I've heard it repeated so often and by pretty much all the guys I talk to.

You think you've got no problem dressing yourself, you have no desire to blow a ton of cash on your clothes, and you tell yourself that being interested in fashion isn't really a guy's thing.

After all, your style hasn't let you down yet.

Think about this: if your style has never let you down,has it ever done the opposite, AND DONE YOU ANY FAVORS? Have you ever felt the hungry eyes of lots of ladies checking you out? The sneaky peeks of chicks who just can't help themselves? Or, more seriously, have you ever received compliments about the way you dress?

If we were to take a look in your closet, we'd probably find a pair of jeans, faded or ripped, probably Diesels? Maybe one or two T-shirts by Guess or Armani Exchange (or another brand with its logo printed on the front of the shirt for everyone to see?)

If that's not quite your style, maybe some T-shirts with the name of your favorite metal band. A nice pair of Converse -- why would you need anything else? And don't forget your "comfortable" sweats that are about 2 sizes too big.


Is that really what you want, to look like an average guy? Is your aspiration to be completely interchangeable and have a style that lacks personality and character? I didn't think so.

It's important and completely possible to develop a style that reflects you in a flattering way. Because an average Abercrombie t-shirt, with an average jacket, an average pair of jeans, and an average pair of shoes all adds up to AN AVERAGE LOOK.

And the solution isn't to wear poor-quality cheesy designer clothes -- that's exactly what I'm going to help you avoid.

We're going to start off by correcting some of the recurring errors I see with my clients, even those who've been following our blog for a while. It's all about taking action after receiving a bit of helpful advice.


* A brand isn't good just because everyone's wearing it.
* A brand isn't good just because it's expensive.
* A brand isn't good just because it's well-known.

Some brands have a "good reputation" amongst the mainstream crowd (who generally know zilch all about fashion anyway) only because their marketing departments invest millions of dollars every year in maintaining the public belief that they're good brands who make good clothes.


* An item that suits you (It's neither too big nor too small and it makes the most of your silhouette).
* An item that's easy to wear and that doesn't break any of the rules regarding basic good taste (not gaudy)
* An item made with care, with quality materials, that will last you longer than an item made in China or Bangladesh.


In order to distinguish the good brands from the bad (and within a brand, the good items of clothing from the bad), you need to know your stuff. And to get to know your stuff, you need to take an interest in the subject: check out blogs, forums, guides, talk to professional and honest retailers (the ones who won't try to make you buy something.)


BY CHEAP STUFF I MEAN WORN, FADED, OR LIFELESS CLOTHES WITH QUESTIONABLE DESIGNS. Maybe you only have a small amount to spend on your wardrobe - if that's the case you're going to have to do your best to limit the premature fading that's characteristic of cheap clothes.

With shirts, learn how to iron properly so that the collars keep their shape and don't start getting wavy (sign of badly fused lining). It's a little detail that lots of women have a particularly keen eye for. Take care of them and make an effort so that your shirts stay looking new for as long as possible.

White shirt by Filipa K: notice the shape of the collar and how the seam lies sharply on the shoulders.

If your shirts are irreversibly ruined, stop wearing them, even if you've grown attached. A collar that's turned yellow or black rarely looks great and you don't want to gross anyone out.


Stop with the printed shirts. Alright, you see them everywhere, but that's no reason to believe they make you look good. Learn about simplicity and minimalist elegance - the foundation of style. Go to a store that makes good quality T-shirts at a low price (such as Gap or Target). Same thing goes for hoodies and other hooded sweaters...

Good old "Supermarket brand" T-shirt and hoodie

As for your jackets, get them dry-cleaned when they start showing signs of age: stains from nights out or an interior that's starting to look drab. The whole idea is to prevent yourself from giving the impression that you got your jacket out of your dirty laundry basket.


Invest in a decent pair of raw jeans. They'll cost you less than 3 pairs of Levi's (a brand with an overrated reputation thanks to widespread marketing) that will look crap after three washes.

Even the most expensive jeans in the world can't stand up to being washed every 2 weeks. You should only wash your jeans once every two months, max. I know it sounds like a lot but it helps to avoid premature wear and fading. I promise they won't smell horrible or get really dirty.

IMPORTANTNOTE: These tips come from passionate fashion professionals and are often little-known or misunderstood by the majority of the public. They do make a massive difference though, and make your clothes last a lot longer.


Get yourself a pair of understated sneakers that don't look like running shoes (Industry of all Nations, Generic Surplus, more high-end Our Legacy and Common Projects or National Standard). And a pair of smart shoes (Allen Edmonds, Loake 1880, Magnanni, or To Boot New York) will give you more value for your dollar than than an inexpensive pair purchased every 6 months.

Vintage Kenya sneakers by Industry of all nations, less than 60

I'll be writing a second part soon going into detail about more fashion mistakes that should be avoided at all costs.


Want to learn how to choose a good pair of jeans? How to choose a good shirt? How to dress well and inspire more trust, attraction and respect thanks to your style? The KINOWEAR BIBLE is a guide written by two fashion pros that BRINGS TOGETHER ALL THEIR TIPS FOR DRESSING WELL as a guy. See Nick's review here.


I'm the author of this post and editor at

At Kinowear we help men choose pieces of clothing and put together simple yet stunning outfits.

Join me on the blog to learn how to dress sharply.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Improve Your Love Life With Femininity

Improve Your Love Life With Femininity
"Equally Imposing FEMINISTS "DON'T" Necessitate YOU TO Charge Involvement DATING AND Associations..."


Men, particularly masculine profit men, like female women. The better masculine and profit the man, the better attracted he is to female women.

It hardship come to no pick up, with, that being female and seeking to understand a man's sexual characteristics and how it parallels your femininity" Ghost Assistance YOU AS A Living thing IN DATING AND Associations".

"IN THIS 60-PAGE ELECTRONIC Absolute, YOU'LL Liven up Equally THE FEMINIST EXTREMISTS DON'T Necessitate YOU TO Charge"..."

The information understood at home is so "Opposite" from what society tells you today that it may change your "Come to" view on men, dating, and relationships.

This unusual, complementary, and femininely Dissident guide is for you if:

* you just want to learn how to attract the attention of "Delightful MEN", without all of the social loll

* you want to learn how to Declare attraction

* you want to Mass now at home, Mass inspection added women having great relationships with great men, and Mass wondering if you'll ever be with human being, and simply "Charge" that you'll be with human being as speedily as you find human being good for you

* you want to arouse better dear and devoutness from your man

* you want to be a better Delightful Living thing who better attracts Delightful MEN!

"In this guide, you'll learn"...

* what masculine profit men "Scarcely" find attractive in women

* how to reckon attraction in a man - "long behind schedule the first date!"

* what makes a man feel relevant to a woman

* what masculine profit men truthfully "Necessitate" in a relationship and in a woman

* the secrets that are technologically proven to attract men to you - low with flimsy ways to thump advantage of their vigor

what mistresses do that make them magnets - don't desertion the vigor of their tricks!

Saturday, 14 June 2008

Difference Between Thinker And Feeler

Difference Between Thinker And Feeler
ARE YOU A Imaginative OR A FEELER?

Excellence among logician and antenna

Organize are two types of people in this crazy world one is logician and a great deal is antenna.


1.One time faced with a assessment or right, the logician automatically focuses on highest achievement, and applies logic to the situation.

2. He or she subconsciously notices responsibilities and work that needs to be ruined.

3. Thinkers find it easy to hand round an objective analysis of any situation. They're guided by practical prudence.

4. They view fight as a natural and traditional part of relationships. It doesn't perfectly mean that something is rough, or relationships are departure to fall apart.


1. One time faced with a assessment or right, feelers are guided by their gut reactions, and harmonize to their feelings and dictate retort. They're especially concerned about hurting a great deal people, or making life added painstaking or excruciating for them.

2. They thoughtlessly pick up on popular feelings and reactions - and they get hold of body language and non-verbal cues.

3. In reaching decisions, they want to gather round others' opinions, and they crack a consensus, or a absolutely appeasement.

4.They are bothered by fight, and abhorrence because people spat. Their definite goal is softness and peace.

Figurine source: gives the only riveting topics of psychology and you need not to be a professional to understand the articles in the psychtronics. They are easy to understand to every one and it is principally for the college students and Psychiatrists.Equivalence us in FB to get Updates: us in twitter:

Friday, 13 June 2008

Social Work In The Relationship Education Movement

Social Work In The Relationship Education Movement
Maintaining a good relationship takes work and since it's difficult to have a relationship alone that means it takes work together. Relationship means having an association, a connection and a rapport. If you have an association with your spouse or significant other then to make it desirable you must make a good connection and develop a rapport.

Most relationships start off strong, filled with love and devotion. Sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly, the love and devotion are gone and you're left bewildered. You rationalize that you did nothing wrong and fail to take any responsibility. Or, you may blame yourself totally and view the situation as hopeless. There are too many obstacles to overcome, too many hurts to heal, so you give up.

Wait! It's never too late to salvage a relationship if both parties are willing to work together as a team. You'll want to work together for a rebuilding of your relationship if your love is real. False love crumbles at the first sign of trouble. True love is willing to climb mountains and swim vast oceans for the person you love. Which one describes your relationship?

If you decide your love is real and the relationship is worth saving determine what you expect from each other and where the relationship has been and where it's heading. Has you situation so far been meaningful with plans for the future or do you live from day to day and pretend you're on a high school date?

You must recognize the existing problems and get them in the open. Usually, both are to blame for not fulfilling each other's needs. You might discover you never knew what those needs were because you fail to share. Sharing is bonding. In order to share you must communicate and learn about each other's feelings and needs. Both of you could be hurting and the other not know.

Neither of you may be to blame. This is why communication and sharing are so important in a relationship. As you disclose your feelings be rational, reasonable and calm. No one wins an argument or a discussion by getting angry.

You are two different people with different views and perspectives. Likely there is no right or wrong here, just differences. Being different doesn't mean you're incompatible. The differences could be what brought you together in the first place.

Respect those differences and find common ground. Show an interest in your partner's interests. Find some time to get involved in their work or their hobbies and experience it together. You may find you like it and want to continue.

Talk about what's right in addition to what's wrong. Don't harbor resentment and guilt over emotional baggage of the past. If your spouse has done something you think you can't forgive, just know someone will and take right up where you let the good thing go. Forgive and forget. Go slowly and agree to give it time. Some time alone may be in order. Your relationship can be saved unless you give up.

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Wednesday, 11 June 2008

The Power Of Reinforcing Feedback

The Power Of Reinforcing Feedback

By Juan Riboldi

Reinforcing feedback tells us that what we are doing is working well. We just need to keep doing it!

We experience reinforcing feedback as words of affirmation, encouragement, praise, or recognition. All these forms of verbal reinforcement are powerful motivators that boost morale and improve results. An excellent performance review, a bonus, or a promotion represent tangible signs of reinforcing feedback.

Power of Reinforcing Feedback

Reinforcing feedback has a strong positive influence on behavior. Most of us like to hear compliments and feel recognized. Reinforcing feedback will encourage us to do what we did more often, and better.

Think about the type of feedback you receive every day at work. How much reinforcing feedback do you regularly receive from others? The answer to this question has a direct impact on your motivation at work. Now, consider what would happen if we were to drastically increase the proportion of reinforcing feedback? Let's say that we were to experience reinforcing feedback about 80% of the time. What do you anticipate would happen? You would likely experience higher commitment and increased engagement.

Conversely, imagine what would happen to a group when they start focusing on the things that are going wrong. Consider the case of a worker that frequently hears from his manager when things go wrong, seldom hearing a word of appreciation for everyday accomplishments. A lack of reinforcing feedback kills the morale and motivation of the team.

Increase the proportion of reinforcing feedback and morale increases, employees are more engaged, quality improves, productivity goes up, customers are more satisfied, and the team performs better.

Focusing on what is right has a powerful effect. Recognition is contagious, as it creates a buzz for success. Reinforcing what is right tends to produce more of it. It costs nothing and takes little time, yet the impact of focusing on what is right attracts success.

Negative Effects?

Some people may reason that that too much optimism is unfounded or insincere. After all, work is not supposed to be a "love fest." Some may legitimately ask: What if things are not going well? What if the praise is not sincere? What if I recognize people just for doing their jobs and they grow to expect praise for it? What if I give it, but never receive it back in return?

Real World Example

The following story provides an example of how reinforcing feedback can be effective in even the most difficult situations. Years ago, I worked as a coach with a manufacturing plant manager named Steve (name changed) who stepped into a money-losing operation needing a turnaround. Workers were demoralized and hostile to management. Rumors of closing the plant fueled distrust and low performance.

Steve's first task was to lay off some of his assistant managers and make many unpopular changes. He encountered resistance and excuses for change with firm and assertive opposition. There were days that nothing seemed to be going right. One of those days he said to me, "I have to be the ugly boss (he used other words), so how can I build morale in this environment?"

I suggested he continued to be firm and strict about the changes that needed to happen, and at the same time be nice, positive, and respectful. I challenged him, "You can be both firm and nice, can't you?" He realized, at least intellectually, that being firm and nice are not mutually exclusive. Then he asked, "What if I can't find anything to be positive about?"

"Let's find it any way we can!" I said. We decided to try an experiment for one month- a daily dose of positive reinforcement. Every day at 11:00 am Steve would stop was he was doing and walk around the floor right before the lunch break with the sole purpose of congratulating others for anything that was going right; anything at all, even if it was minimal.

On the first day of the experiment, Steve praised an operator for wearing his safety gear while operating a dangerous machine. He also smiled at others as he walked around. That was it. By the third day he was able to point out at least three things deserving sincere recognition. He was also pleased to notice some workers making eye contact with him and even smiling back. By the end of the month, the daily dose of recognition was having a noticeable impact. Steve was able to point out at least ten things going well each day, including important cost saving measures and record production quotas.

Personal Impact

Despite errors and mistakes, there are always things going right. We need not be insincere in our praise. As we give frequent, specific, and sincere recognition to others we will experience a change for the better in our lives as well. We will feel more positive about our own performance and be able to focus more readily on what is going well. In turn, others may respond better to our requests as they feel more appreciated and secure. Trust and cooperation increases and new levels of achievement are then possible. There is great power in positive reinforcement!

What can we do to give more reinforcing feedback?

1. Catch People Doing What's Right

We can develop the habit of looking for what's right and pointing it out. Find people doing great work and reaffirm them. Every day, pay a compliment to someone at work for something they did well.

2. Speak Words of Affirmation

Listen to your words before you speak and, if necessary, rephrase the message in a positive way. If you catch yourself about to say something critical, you can rephrase your thoughts so you actually provide reinforcing feedback instead. For example, instead of jokingly saying, "Not a bad job!," you will get better results by simply saying "Great work!" Or, instead of saying, "You need to stop spending so much money," you can reinforce by saying, "Let's find ways to save more to strengthen our financial situation."

3. Recognize the Value of Work Itself

Find ways to reward good behavior by recognizing the fruits of that behavior. That will teach the true value of doing a good job. For example, after someone delivers a report to you on time and without errors, you can take a few minutes to thank the person and describe how the report was used, and the impact of the information when you presented it at a meeting. Simple words of reinforcing feedback mean more than we realize.

Research on Recognition

Our research shows that out of twenty factors that drive employee engagement, recognition (reinforcing feedback) is a top-five driver of overall engagement. Yet, recognition is consistently the lowest scoring factor. There is clear need for improvement when it comes to recognition at work.

Interestingly, in terms of overall engagement, recognition shows up as one of the key differentiators between the very best and the worst organizations. For example, as many as 83% of the employees give favorable scores to recognition in the best organizations, compared with only 39% of the employees at the worst organizations. When it comes to engaging employees, there is a 44% difference in recognition between the best and worst organizations.

We can all give reinforcing feedback more often. Positive reinforcement creates positive thoughts, actions, and outcomes. As we practice thinking and talking in ways that reinforce what is right, we will achieve better results faster.

Juan Riboldi

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Article Source: Riboldi

Sunday, 8 June 2008

Positive Leadership In Project Management What Leaders Do By Frank P Saladis Pmp

Positive Leadership In Project Management What Leaders Do By Frank P Saladis Pmp
Published on Wednesday, November 25, 2009 - by

To the same extent the question is asked: "What is leadership?" the answer is customarily based on the spirit of a leader. Ceiling people attract the emerge manifestations that are more often than not coupled with a person in a leadership position. These spirit adjoin charisma, gossip, perception, dedication, communications skills, the ability to sell something to someone people, hostility, and so on. These may very well be key spirit of a leader but they do not truly put in the question "What is Leadership?" To put in that question, one obligation regard some time and think about people who sway been in leadership positions and truly entire everything. This requires a bit advance pondering than entirely recitation what is superficial to be the qualities of a leader.

Leaders make trappings roll up. They are instrumental in the success of a project or the operate they lead. Leaders are advance coupled with enablers than they are with doers. The true leader inspires, motivates, and creates and ambiance of confidence. At that moment, until that time we put in the question "What is leadership?" we could do with put in the question "What do leaders do?" Decree is about objective. The true leader does not waste time thinking about what they may well sway been or what they could do with sway perfect. These types of attention are coupled with people who don't act on their thoughts and aspirations. The true leader is fixed on what is bordering. They ask themselves "Can I be advance than I am today? More willingly of thinking "I may well sway perfect extensively advance with my life. Effort is the soar of leadership and they relax encouraged by what they can uncover. Decree is about the hope against hope of an personality to ferret and to uncover his or her full guarantee.

I at the end read a book, Decree A to Z by James O'Toole. According to O'Toole, true leaders fix on a set of actions correct to chute leadership down and from first to last their operate. He states that leadership is learnable and replicable.

We run into that leaders mark a vision, define a delegation, guide their organizations lay down attitude that are spotlessly demonstrated and communicated, and ability a strategy that will drive them toward accomplishing their goals. Leaders ability the organization, possess teams, and routine the tools as well as the motivation and stimulus that will bring into being their gang to "want "to wear out the household tasks correct to uncover the vision and objectives. Distinctive applicable obsession that leaders do is to ability and train an assess critically and collect system. Leaders who uncover great trappings run into that, as O'Toole says in his book, leadership is not a isolated act. Nation and teams are obligatory to fulfill thoughts and uncover success. Nation need coaching, mentoring, corollary, and utmost really, a common sense of consequences and self cost. Leaders alike run into that put forward is a need for new leaders and effective leaders ability an environment in which leadership at all levels in the operate is not only observed, but nurtured. At that moment, an applicable offshoot of being a leader is to ability and train an assess critically and collect system.

To the same extent you think of leadership, go beyond the spirit that are normally coupled with a leader and ask yourself "What has this leader truly done?" How is the operate contrasting the same as of this individual? What is new, new, and inspiring? Are you advance organize to work towards executive objectives the same as of this person? Has your reliability increased? Why? These are the questions that will put in the question when is leadership?" Ask these identical questions of yourself. What are you pretense that is add-on consequences to you organization? Do people see you as a leader? Are you vigorous with others to help them become effective leaders?

Decree is a multipart nationwide and put forward are repeated opinions about what makes a leader effective. I purchase a very basic but applicable constituent is a personal hope against hope to make a difference. The internal drive, objective, and inevitability to regard action is the key to leadership. It is alike applicable to mark a set of attitude reveal people and to lecture in an celebration to dwell in attitude stalwartly.

Consider yourself, as a project gauge, to be in a leadership position. Take time to assess your leadership skills and your guarantee. Prevent from spreading and mark a relationship with a guru. Emerge your personal strategy to improve your skills and inspect the attitude that drive you. Decree is a go on a journey and it can sway repeated rewards overpower the way.

(c) 2009

Open P. SALADIS, PMP is Upper Analyst with International company Organization for Learning, Inc. He has been all-around in the fee of harmonized Overshadow Restrain Guidelines (PMGs) for the AT&T Problem Present yourself Tackle Army (Problem ITS) operate and is the author of the Overshadow Evaluation Assess Dash (PERP). He is the thing of the 2006 PMI Linn Stuckenbruck person of the time bequest.